My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
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It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice.
He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No" says the neighbor.
"The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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How did the blonde die icefishing?
She got run over by the zamboni!
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
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