Joke #3834

My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.

Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.

Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.

Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.

Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.