What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
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There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen.
The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors' help group.
When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple.
The group looked at it and started laughing.
The inventor said, "You don't understand! Taste it."
A volunteer tried it and said, "Mmmmmmm, tastes like peaches."
The inventor said, "Flip it over."
He flipped it over and took another chunk of the apple. "Mmmmmmmm, tastes like grapes."
The inventor offered a new apple and the volunteer said, "What does it taste like?"
"Pussy," said the inventor.
The guy bit into it, and spit it out with an awful look on his face and shouted, "That tasted like ass!"
The inventor winked and said, "Flip it over."
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.
The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no!
he beats me!".
The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!".
So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?"
The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants.
High five!
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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