What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
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What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
"Darling."
What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
"When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things.
I just won the California lottery!"
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care.
Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen.
The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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