Joke #4115

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.

There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.

Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated? A: "Oh balls."

Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!

After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded. The couch says to him: You should better take a decision! You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home. Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Repeat with the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. Exercise #2 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Do this again in case the last time wasn't effective enough. Then repeat with the other breast. Exercise #3 Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the concrete floor is just perfect. Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast. CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram.

Q:How do sport players stay cool in game? A:They stay in front of some fans!

Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me." Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?" Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."

The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.