What do computers do when they get hungry?
They eat chips!
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Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
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I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant.
I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean.
I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience.
I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it.
I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet.
2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
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Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal?
A: The lynx.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
