When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.