Joke #3923

What’s the best way to stop water coming into your house? Don’t pay the water bill.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money

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Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. "You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer. "All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: military, money
Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!
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has 37.15 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, money, racist
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says "you are suppose to read his lips." He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn’t running – the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn’t run, it runs, it doesn’t run..." He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much. The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax..."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money
If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama