Joke #3925

What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: IT

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You realize that you are dependent of the internet when: You forget in what year you are. You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened. You dream only of quick connections. You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: IT
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, programmer
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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has 32.71 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Communist Party and announced, "I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there is a God after all. And the worse news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Bill Gates called all of his programmers, marketing experts and administrators together and announced, "I've got good news and I've got better news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most important men on Earth. The better news is that we don't have to fix Windows 95."
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has 78.89 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: god, IT, political
Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia." Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
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has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: cop, IT
The six front keys have rotted out.
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has 9.43 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
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has 75.69 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT