Joke #4000

A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: IT

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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’ Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’ Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’ Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: IT
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: IT
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
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has 81.28 % from 625 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, technology
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
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has 83.33 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: IT
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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has 38.99 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: IT
Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.
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has 84.84 % from 589 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: IT
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT