Joke #4000

A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
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I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
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What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac? DON'T keep taking the tablets!
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Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
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Hit any user to continue.
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There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
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