Joke #4001

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT

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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 82.33 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
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has 83.33 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: IT
Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: IT
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
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has 60.22 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology
Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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has 81.85 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, technology
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, technology
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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has 25.67 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT, memory, sport, technology
Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
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has 8.72 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: IT