ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered? Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day? Cutting edge.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.