ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates, apache inside...
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from? Let Only Users Suffer.