Joke #3795

I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.

Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!

Kock, Knock Who is there? Suck, suck. Suck, suck who? After a long pause with a low voice: My dick; dear!

It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’

The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."

What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.

One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.

Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."

Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.

So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"