Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall? A: Captain's log.
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’