Joke #4030

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport

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A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, morbid, sport, winter
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: phone, sport
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: game, sport, stupid, Yo mama
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: funeral, sport, wife
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport
Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fish, sport, time, winter