My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
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Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner?
A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
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"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic?
A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods.
Swimming
Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.
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Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A: "Oh balls."
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