My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
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Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.
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What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing.
One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice.
The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you."
The successful man spits something into his hand.
"You've got to keep your worms warm."
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
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Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball team.
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine.
He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves.
As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?"
Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted.
"You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"