My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
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A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good.
The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery.
The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany.
The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England."
"Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery.
Can you tell me when this took place?"
"Certainly," the man replies.
"About three minutes ago."
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it.
Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends.
"I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."
"Batted .007," his wife added.
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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