The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods. Swimming
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
He was a colourful boxer. Black and blue all over.
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!