Joke #4057

I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor. "I’m sorry," said the mayor, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
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Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
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has 84.44 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: marriage
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, being the mere man he was, he decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
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has 79.76 % from 976 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wife to husband: ‘You certainly made a fool of yourself last night. I just hope nobody realised you were sober.’
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman. “If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get?” “A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, money, sex, wife
Wife to her husband: "I told you I'll be back in five minutes, so why you are calling me every half an hour?"
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has 85.15 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife keeps telling me I shouldn’t pee in the bath – or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out.
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has 72.31 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What kind of rings do men need for marriage? Engagement Ring Wedding Ring Suffe-Ring Endu-Ring
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage