There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris. He is now known as Harry Potter.
Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.