There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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