Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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