Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.