In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.