Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
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