Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
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Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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