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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company.
One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.
The procedure required him to delete an old file.
On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.
I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash.
Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."
Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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Joke has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems.
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.