A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
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Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress.
The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
The lawyer warns of the difficulties.
It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy.
The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
My wife thinks I’m with my mistress.
My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.
He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table.
To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer.
"Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
A programmer had a problem.
He decided to use Java.
He now has a ProblemFactory.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain?
A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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