There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
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Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A:Because they dribble all over the court.
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is?
What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee.
Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?''
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach.
"Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
Vote:
What can you serve that you cannot eat?
A tennis ball.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...