Joke #4055

There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. Squash

Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"

What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis

Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

Two guys are out hunting deer... The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky." "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!" "Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice. A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" This time pointing behind them. By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."

Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils. One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Julia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was. Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion. Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?' 'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'