Joke #4079

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
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What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years. As a reward you can make a wish." Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East. The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?" Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us. The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."
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What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’ Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’ Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’ Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
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I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access. It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
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What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
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A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S? 4Skin.
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