Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.