Where does the acronym LOTUS come from?
Let Only Users Suffer.
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A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
No, restart the router, please!
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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