A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
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He was a colourful boxer.
Black and blue all over.
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
Why are old socks good for golf?
Because they have eighteen holes.
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot.
Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system -
"Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee".
He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again.
The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!"
He looked back at the starters shack and yelled,
"Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Why are black people so good at Basketball?
Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
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Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.
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