I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.
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A man comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn't include Joseph in the games anymore.
The husband asks, "Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?"
"Of course I wouldn't," replies the wife.
"Well," says the husband, "neither would Joseph."
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too.
Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception.
A little girl has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts.
"Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds.
The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot.
What would you be then?"
"Oh," says the little girl.
"Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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