What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!