Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.
He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?"
The boy replied, "What turkey?"
The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."
The boy looks down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!"
The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.
If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"
The little boy said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.