Joke #4112

A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
Vote: has 49.30 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline. A week after the marriage all their windows fell out. Which was the least of their worries.
Vote: has 52.04 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote: has 69.79 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn't afford it and neither could there parents. So the parents said "We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married". So they got married and all three daughters then said "I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it". The parents couldn't afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house. So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink. On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it. When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it. When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it. The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter "Why were you screaming?". And the daughter replied "Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt." Then the mother said to the second daughter "Why were you laughing last night?" and the daughter replied "Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled". Then the mother said to the last daughter "Why didn't I hear anything coming from your room last night?" and the daughter replied "Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full".
Vote: has 80.24 % from 2283 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, money, sex
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A couple have just had sex. The woman says, ‘If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?’ The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet. ‘Well,’ he says. ‘If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.’
Vote: has 78.76 % from 509 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Vote: has 63.89 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex, time
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
Vote: has 31.13 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said. The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
Vote: has 55.05 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex