A young couple get between the sheets for the first time.
In a flash it’s over.
The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’
His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
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What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
What’s the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
An old football player was dying.
So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?"
Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times:
1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team.
2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times.
3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar.
One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"