What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no I-Deer.
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A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him:
"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
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