Joke #4176

Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, dog, love
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
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has 86.11 % from 1830 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, blonde, sport
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her. ‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says. ‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde. ‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?  A: After a dye job.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?  A: An IN-body experience!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid