Joke #4176

Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.

How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle? Shine a torch into her ear.

blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. She ran into one of her friends. Her friend asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?" She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag. The friend says, "Fish! Well, I'll make you a bet.If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The blonde says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side.

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. "Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.'' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. "How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning." The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, "What the hell is that?"