The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
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Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy.
He says:
If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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