Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.
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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
A programmer went to the store to buy milk.
His partner said, "While you're there, buy eggs."
The programmer never returned.
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