Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from? Let Only Users Suffer.
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.