Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
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Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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