What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
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I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately.
However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets.
Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?"
His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?
A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy.
The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen".
Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
Vote:
James Bond got this email from a friend:
CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?