What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.
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A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?!
Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
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1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet.
2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain?
A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police
Error, no keyboard.
Press F1 to continue.
Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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