Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
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A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives.
In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commentator.
A man married an illiterate wife.
After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe.
One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44.
The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44.
The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here.
I hope they are all brilliant.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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A woman was standing naked, looking herself at the mirror.
She was not satisfied with what she was looking at and said to her husband: "I feel awful. I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need a compliment right now."
Her husband replied: "Your vision is perfectly nice!"
...and then the fight started.
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?"
"It's over!"
"Over? Why, what happened?"
"We got married..."
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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