Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Some people like to eat frogs' legs.
Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs.
Hence, snakes.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
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Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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