Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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