Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.