Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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Nietzsche's book was originally called Also Sparch Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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