Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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