Joke #4286

My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
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has 85.07 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
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has 78.35 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, husband, life, marriage
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day. So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, marriage, wife
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.31 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
"My wife suffers from a drinking problem." "Oh is she an alcoholic?" "No, I am, but she's the one who suffers."
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has 83.37 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, husband, marriage, wife
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.
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has 83.73 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: marriage
When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, wife
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, marriage, sex, wife