Joke #4286

My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
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has 83.97 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
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Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
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has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."
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has 63.84 % from 330 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive'... I took her to a petrol station...
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has 84.51 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife