What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
Is your goalmouth open? High five!
One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here". "Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer. No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...