What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket. "What is that?" she asks. "Those are my golf balls." "Is that like tennis elbow?"
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after 3 periods.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech? A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.