What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit?
One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
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The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
Do I have any chance to win?
Asks the boxer.
Off course!
Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team.
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game?
A:They stay in front of some fans!
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good.
The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery.
The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany.
The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England."
"Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery.
Can you tell me when this took place?"
"Certainly," the man replies.
"About three minutes ago."
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl.
So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better.
He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there.
The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died."
"Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?"
The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.