Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica?
A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears.
Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
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I think that it is better to give that to get.
You have a very generous thinking.
Are you a humanitarian?
No, I’m a boxer.
Q: What did the basketball say to the player?
A: Please don't shoot me.
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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
In case they get a hole in one!
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is.
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One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?
A: A dino-score.
There are these two guys named John and Cliff.
They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard.
They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not.
One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man.
The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend.
"Hi, John.”"
"Cliff, is it really you?"
"Hey, I told you I’d be back to tell you what’s up. And, you know John, there’s good news and bad news."
"Okay. What’s the good news?"
"There is baseball in heaven."
"The bad news?"
"You’re pitching tomorrow night."