Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica?
A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears.
Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
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Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper.
The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
Your mama so fat, that she can use herself as a bowling ball and get 10 strikes in all of the lanes!
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games?
A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.
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