How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
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Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
A: She forgot to close her eyes.
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people.
You put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it.
But before they do, you pull your hand away!
"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful.
Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.
"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN?
A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
One that never misses a period.
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?"
She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
Three blonde men are on one side of a wide river and don't know how to get across.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
Q: What did the blonde do when she couldn't afford a personalized license plate?
A: She changed her name to JKM345.
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”