Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on.
He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!!
" The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles
of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this
gives you the full use of your penis."
Great I'll do it.
Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date.
He feels a rustle in his pants.
So he just ignored it.
It happens again.
So he figured it just needed some air.
So he unzips his pants to let it
out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the
table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table.
His date stared
in complete awe and said " Can you do that again".
He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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