Joke #5776

Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
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has 56.40 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, flirt, sex
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”
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has 78.99 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, doctor, sex, women
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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has 74.99 % from 741 votes. More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery."
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has 78.60 % from 700 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, love, sex
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex