Joke #5776

Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
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has 56.13 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: sex

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If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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has 58.29 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell. He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building. Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye. Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?" The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"
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has 79.89 % from 1056 votes. More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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has 65.54 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
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has 50.06 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving? A: “Thanks for coming!”
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has 70.29 % from 611 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
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has 48.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
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has 64.19 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama