Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business. One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?" He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight." She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?" He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...