How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
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The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”.
The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?"
"Yes, we are. Why you ask?"
The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?"
"Yes I am!" says the mom with pride.
The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?"
"Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?"
The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
Answer: Lipstick.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab.
Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat Ball.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote:
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.