How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
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What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it's on the train.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts!
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.