‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
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Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
Vaginas are like weather.
When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt.
As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says,
“Your hair smells really nice today.”
She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office.
She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened.
The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?”
Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
A mother without any pant was playing with her son.
The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet?
Mother: "My sweet that is a brush."
Son: "Where is it's bundle?"
Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
A. Fucks Funny!
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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