What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
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What's a rabbits favourite car?
Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
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When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head?
Steer phones.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes.
When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are what you are"
The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question.
One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes"
The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"