What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk.
The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk.
The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk.
However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.
As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.