What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
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What is the most famous shark?
William Sharkspeare.
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke."
Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.
Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?"
Me: "John"
Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have."
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?"
Me: "I don't know? A lot?"
Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.