What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?" "That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.