Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
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Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles?
Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains:
Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts...
I know what has happened to you.
And what?
You've broken your finger.
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car.
She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff.
The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.
Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats.
He turns around and sees she's smiling.
So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car.
He looks back to see that she's laughing.
He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires.
He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down.
He demands, "What's so funny?"
She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?
A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
They forget the recipe.
What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.
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Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside.
He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,"I'd like to buy this TV".
He says,"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".
The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens.
Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses.
She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?".
He replied, "First of all, that's a microwave."