Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Q: Why is it OK for blondes to catch cold? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!" The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.
There's a blonde walking down a trail. She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left. She sees another blonde on the other side. She asks her "how do you get to the other side?" The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!
A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger. A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her. As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in window, he notices another blonde inside the car, coaching "No, no! A little to the left."
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.