Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
It’s not very bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon.
One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"
The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
Natalie, a pretty but distraught blonde model, took her troubles to a psychiatrist.
"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded.
"It's gotten so that every time a man takes me out, I wind up in bed with him. And then afterward I feel guilty and depressed all day long."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist.
"And you want me to strengthen your will power."
"Heavens, NO!" exclaimed the model.
"I want you to fix it so I don't feel guilty and depressed afterward."
A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
A blonde comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts.
‘How can I get to the other side?’
The other blonde looks around then shouts back, ‘You are on the other side!’
A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane.
The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.
The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds.
He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.
The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game.
The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled.
He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer.
Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.
The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word.
The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"
The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.