Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
It’s not very bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.
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A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.
“How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager.
“$200″ – he replied.
“That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde.
The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted.
Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled.
“Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied.
After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators.
He decided to go out and check on her.
When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.
Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
What does a blonde say after having sex?
What team do you guys play for?
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth?
A: No make-up.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
Vote:
A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads.
The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help.
"What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me."
"Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow."
She says, "It's ceramic tile."
Vote:
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:
GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix
When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said,
"The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”