How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model. Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car. Again, after half an hour she came back. The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was. She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth... “And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say? ‘Having a wonderful time. Where am I?’
What did the blonde get on her IQ test? Saliva.
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t, they’re born that way!
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!