Joke #5726

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.
Vote:
has 80.47 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
Vote:
has 84.34 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, technology, time
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
Vote:
has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
Vote:
has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? The noise gave her a headache.
Vote:
has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
Vote:
has 80.45 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: blonde