Joke #4687

I got home and found a man in bed with my wife. I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’ He said, ‘Everybody.’
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. "To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free." The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
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An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
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has 38.99 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: marriage, stupid, Yo mama
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
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has 85.62 % from 275 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist: "Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse." The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: doctor, horse, marriage, money
A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."
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has 47.54 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife