What does a blonde use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
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Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
‘It’s okay, Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70?
Because 69 is such a mouthful.
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack.
She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.
"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her.
The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.
She came back sweating like a pig.
"Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman.
"6" she replied.
"What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.'' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.
"How many this time?" asked the foreman.
"12" she said.
The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning."
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly."
He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM.
He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically.
So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, "What the hell is that?"
A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her:
Any garbage today?
Yes, tree sacks please...
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"